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Japanese language: ありのままの自分の素顔

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorKouhiiChan
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2010 edited
     # 1

    I'm trying to translate a song, and I need help with a few parts. Does anyone know how I can translate ありのままの自分の素顔 to make it flow? I had 'the honesty I have now', but it didn't make sense because the next line meant something along the lines of 'It's not a forced smile'.

    Also, does 嫌になりそう translate to 'seem to tire of' or 'seem to dislike'?

    Thanks in advance!

    • CommentAuthortamatama
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2010
     # 2

    I think we'd (at least I'd) need to know more of the context for the first question. (Though personally I'm horrible at translation.)

    嫌になりそう has the なる verb in there so there's a sense of becoming. Something like "would start to dislike" but again more context would help to figure out the best wording.

    "seems to dislike" would just be 嫌そう

    • CommentAuthorKouhiiChan
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2010
     # 3

    1) The full sentence is 胸の奥の鏡に映るのは ありのままの自分の素顔だけさ.

    2) The full sentence is 時々なぜかぼくたちは 全てが嫌になりそうで本当はまだ進めるって知ってるのに.

    • CommentAuthortamatama
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2010
     # 4
  5.  # 5

    Hmm, I've taken a look at her translation but I don't find it that accurate grammar-wise. For example, ありのままの自分の素顔 translated to 'An honest face of mine just as it is' doesn't sound very natural...

    • CommentAuthortamatama
    • CommentTimeFeb 2nd 2010
     # 6

    I don't think it's bad. I'm sure it's much better than anything I could come up with. I can never make Japanese sound natural in English myself, unless I allow myself some liberties (and usually not even then). Perhaps someone else can make a better suggestion, but what about something like "just my (simple?) unadorned face" or "just myself as I am"?

  7.  # 7

    Are you actually trying to re-fit English words to the original rhythm in order to make a recording? (a la 99 Red balloons / 99 Luftballons)
    That's a monumental challenge! Hats off to you! :^) I think it can only be done easily in languages which already have similar sentence structure (and are largely mutually intelligible),
    like Czech and Slovak, or Norwegian and Danish.

  8.  # 8
    Posted By: paulusmaximus

    Are you actually trying to re-fit English words to the original rhythm in order to make a recording? (a la 99 Red balloons / 99 Luftballons)

    Nope, I'm just translating for fun.

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