Translation Practice and help.
  • Hello everyone this is the first time I've posted here, I just did a google search for translation help and this was on the first page and already knowing of the website, as I use it a lot to look up words, I thought this would be a good place to ask for help. I'm a big fan of the Detective Conan series, but save for one crappy wii minigame collection, none of the detective conan games have been translated.

    Now it's been a few years since I took japanese in college, and to insure that my grasp of the language didn't slip away entirely, I decided I would try my hand at translating one of the games for practice. So far I've gotten about maybe 3 minutes into the game as transcribing it can be a bit of a pain, and I'm constantly looking up different kanji to ensure I had the correct one as the resolution can make them hard to distinguish at times. Anyway to make a overlay long story short I was hoping I could get your help with checking my translation of the game so far.

    ユリエ: やめてぇっ! オニマール!!
    Yurie: Stop! Onimaaru!!

    オニマール: !!
    Onimaaru: !!

    ユリエ: お願いよ!
    Yurie: Please !/Don’t !

    Don’t, don’t kill him! Just, don’t kill him!

    オニマール: だが、 こいつは博士を...
    Onimaaru: But, that bastard...

    He was one of the criminals that killed your mother and the professor...

    The professor, my creator... he killed him!

    ユリエ: だからって、 その人を殺すの?
    Yurie: So what, you’re just going to kill him?

    そんな事をすれば、 あなたも悪人だわ!
    Killing him, would make you no different than they are!

    I want to avenge my mother..

    でも、この手で 殺したいって事じゃない...
    But, I don’t want you to kill him...

    そんな事をすれば、 私もその人達と同じ...、ただの悪人よ!
    If did, I would be no different those horrible people!

    オニマール: ......分かれない...
    Onimaru: … why...

    ユリエ: オニマール!!
    Yurie: Onimaaru!!

    オニマール: 俺には、 分からないんだぁっ!
    Onimaaru: I don’t understand why!

    ユリエ 待って! オニマール!
    Yurie: Wait! Onimaaru!

    This is as far as I have translated so far, although I have a few more pages of text still left untranslated. I would be grateful for any help you can give me on this matter. It's been quite fun reliving my college days of sitting down with a notebook and writing the various new kanji until I have them down pat. Also if anyone knows of a good website or book for help with grammar, I would be much obliged as even in college I was pretty terrible with it and I've not gotten better in the interim. Thanks again for your time.
  • Looks to me like you did a pretty good job. Just a few minor things

    I want to avenge my mother, too.
    でも、この手で 殺したいって事じゃない...
    ..but not by killing him (myself・with my very own hands.)

    and perhaps I would change "He wasis one of the criminals..."

    Oh, and how about "I don’t understand whyyou!" for the second わからない to emphasize it is this perspective he doesn't understand?

    Look here for grammar guides
  • Thanks for you help, as well as a few websites for grammar help.

    Yeah, I was a bit unsure of what she was trying to say here
    でも、この手で 殺したいって事じゃない...,
    as the next sentence talks about her being no better than they are if he was killed, and I couldn't really parse whether she was taking about onimaaru killing him or herself so that clears that bit up.

    Also thanks for the suggestion on the second わからない as I thought it sounded a little off and 'you' instead of 'why' does fit better.

    I plan on translating a bit more as I try and memorize the other new kanji/word I don't know that are in the rest of the document, and hope to post more later. Once again thanks for the help.
  • The previous sentence also helps to understand whom she is referring to:
    First she says "I want it too."
    Then she elaborates on what exactly it is she wants でもそれは[...]という事じゃない

    Edit: Glad to see you like Conan too. I also played 名探偵コナン&金田一少年の事件簿 めぐりあう2人の名探偵 for the NDS once, and the level of the language was ~medium. Nothing for beginners, but no hard or really complicated sentences either, kanji usage was mostly Jouyou.
  • Thanks for the clarification on that line. Yeah It's been some time since I started reading detective conan, it got me started on a bit of a mystery kick so I've been listening to many of the famous detective novels recently. Sherlock Holmes, Detective Poirot, Rex Stout and a few others, the detective's he mention's in the back of each volume have been helpful in finding interesting works so far.

    I also started reading the Kindaichi Case files, as it turns out tokyopop actually did license series over here, unfortunately they've now since gone under so any future translation's from them seem unlikely.

    Anyway I've spent a bit of time today trying to translate the next bit, and it's given me a bit of trouble, part of this issue I think is that I never watched any sort of shows like kamen yaiba in the manga so I'm not used to all of this justice and pure evil kind of stuff.

    オニマール: ............
    Onimaaru: ………...

    (博士を殺したヤツを追いつめ、裁きを受けさせるのは、 正義...)
    (I had chased down the professor’s killer, it would have only been fair to render judgement...)

    [This as well as the next two have given me the most trouble so far. I’m not sure how to translate, the 裁きを受けさせるのは、 正義... seems like he is saying that he would have forced judgement and that would be justice, but I’m not sure if 受けさせる would be forced to take or something else.]

    (だが、 博士のかたきを俺が直接うつのは...悪...)
    (For his rival to make such a direct attack was...evil...)

    (To take away my creator, is there any meaning to that kind of power!?)

    [I kind of get the gist of what he is saying, そんな力に意味なんかあるのか I translated as “is there any meaning to that kind of power!?” but the first part of this 生みの親のかたきも取れないなんて the 生みの親のかたき I assume to mean “my creators rival”, the 取れないなんて I’m not entirely sure of as I don’t know how to translate 取れない in this context]

    オニマール: 風よ...! 教えてくれ!
    Onimaaru: Oh wind...! Tell me!

    Is it normal for a cyborg like me, to be this disturbed/troubled?

    それとも、 俺のAIが不完全だからなのか?
    Or is is that my AI is incomplete / defective?

    オニマール: 風よ、 心あるならば教えてくれ! 製下とは何だ!? 悪とは何だ!?
    俺は... どうすればいいんだ...!?
    Onimaaru: Wind, if you have the heart/power tell me! What is justice!? What is Evil!?
    Tell me.. what should I do...!?

    To Be Continued

    Thanks again for any help you can give me, I've left a few of my note's trying to work out what is being said in different place to give an idea of what I was thinking at the time.
  • You seem to misunderstand some parts of what the Japanese sentence are trying to say, let me give a few tips so that you can have another go at your translation:

    博士を殺したヤツを追いつめ、裁きを受けさせるのは、 正義...
    - 追いつめる is not necessarily to be taken literally, as in "to drive somebody into a corner" physically, but also mentally
    - 裁きを受けさせる, "cause to receive judgement", is used here to emphasize that judgement is forced upon the killer, independent of whether he wants it or not; "to bring judgment upon..."

    だが、 博士のかたきを俺が直接うつのは...悪...
    - literally, "but, for me to strike down the professor's murderer directly, that is evil"
    - かたき(仇・敵)を討つ is a common phrase

    - 仇を取る is basically the same, "to take [down]..."
    - 生みの親のかたきも取れないなんて is talking about the power to be able not to exact revenge upon him [despite a strong (urge /feeling) to do so]
    - かたき doesn't exactly mean rival here, as least we wouldn't use that word in English, but the murderer responsible for killing his 生みの親
    - with the context of him being a cyborg, I like the translation of 生みの親 as creator; literally "the parents who gave birth to me"

    - "Is it because I am an artifical ..., that...?"

    それとも、 俺のAIが不完全だからなのか?
    - "Or is it because...?"
    - although I suppose your translation says pretty much the same thing

    風よ、 心あるならば教えてくれ! 製下とは何だ!? 悪とは何だ!?
    俺は... どうすればいいんだ...!?
    - given your translation, you mean 正義, not 製下?
    - I don't quite get what he feels is so special about the wind that he would pray to it...
    - "to have a heart" as in "to be emphatic and kind and caring and have pity"?
  • Thanks for all your help so far. This phrase
    博士を殺したヤツを追いつめ、裁きを受けさせるのは、 正義...
    you said that 追いつめ could also mean to drive someone in a corner mentally, I think it's probably supposed to be taken literally as in the previous scene he had actually caught the killer. So maybe 博士を殺したヤツを追いつめ、裁きを受けさせるのは、 正義... this could be translated as:

    "I had finally caught up to the professors killer, killing him then an there would have been just"

    Than the next line
    (だが、 博士のかたきを俺が直接うつのは...悪...)
    (but, for me to take a life would have been...evil)

    (Is there any meaning to having power if I am unable to use it to avenge my creator!?)

    As for him taking to the wind, during this monologue he has been riding on his motorcycle. Yeah 正義, I typed the wrong thing in when I was transcribing it, thanks for catching that.
    風よ、 心あるならば教えてくれ! 
    "If you can hear me wind, tell me!"

    Maybe something like this would work.

    Thanks again for all your help, it really shows that I need to just do a whole bunch of practice sentences to get my use and knowledge the different particles up to par. Also I spent way more than I should have translating like 2 pages of the second kindaichi case, today so I might put that up next time as it looks oddly, potentially easier to translate.
  • (だが、 博士のかたきを俺が直接うつのは...悪...)
    (But, for me to take a life would have been...evil)
    Sounds fine to me.

    風よ、 心あるならば教えてくれ! 
    "If you can hear me, [oh] wind, [pray] tell me!"
    I like this.

    I think it's probably supposed to be taken literally as in the previous scene he had actually caught the killer.

    In that case, I agree.

    "I had finally caught up to the professor's killer, [avenging/killing] him then an there would have been just."
    I think I like this one too. Perhaps one could change killing-->avenging to avoid using "kill" twice one after each other...?

    As I tried to point out, I interpret this as
    "To have the courage not to avenge your creator, is there any meaning to this kind of power/strength?"
  • "I had finally caught up to the professor's killer, [avenging/killing] him then an there would have been just." -> "I had finally had him within my grasp, killing him then an there would have been just"

    So is this (そのような力) taking about power/ability in reference to 生みの親のかたきも取れないなんて and than に意味なんかあるのか is taking about there being a meaning with the rest of the sentence.

    生みの親のかたきも取れないなんて<--そのような力に意味なんかあるのか!?<br />I just couldn't do it, is there any meaning to all of this!?
    Being able to, but not taking a life, is there a meaning behind all of this!?

    Maybe something along those lines

    風よ、 心あるならば教えてくれ! 
    "If you can hear me, [oh] wind, [pray] tell me!"

    The changes with [oh] wind, [pray] tell me, I thought was a nice touch. It makes him sound desperate to find an answer.
  • "I had finally had him within my grasp, killing him then an there would have been just."
    Sounds better, I agree.

    The changes 

    Not changes, suggestions. It's your translation ^-^

    "[Being able to/Having the power to], but not [taking a life/avenging your dear ones], is there a meaning behind all of this!?"
    Slightly free translation, but it works I guess;

    but I think it would be best to wait for another opinion on this sentence.
  • Thanks for your help with all of this. I've been playing way too much rayman origins today so the only thing I can post is a bit of my translation from the second case of the first kindaichi series.

    The skeleton was found in a grove near the outskirts of Fudosan (City).

    骨は25~30歳の男性のもので 死因は頭部を強打され殴殺
    The victim was male, between 25 and 30, cause of death was a blow to the head.

    埋められ 少なくとも一年以上は経過していると見られた
    Given the state of decomposition, the body was buried at least 1 year ago.

    ―そして 白骨こそが
    The discovery of that body

    Would kick off a blood soaked chain of events.

    File 2 : The Case of the Western Village

    金田一(きんだいち): いてててて!!
    Kindaichi: Ow, ow ow, ow!!

    美雪(みゆき): もう! 朝っぱらからサボりだなんて!! 今日は許しませんからねっ!!

    Miyuki: You! I see your trying to skip class early . Well, I’m not letting you off today!!
    If you keep this up you'll be held back.

    金田一: んなの俺の勝手だろうォ!?

    Kindaichi: Hey, isn’t that my choice!?
    Anyway if you had just covered for me I would have been fine.

    俺の名前は金田一一かの名探偵 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ由緒正しい高校二年生だ
    My name is Hjime Kindaichi, I’m the grandson of Kosuke Kindaichi the famous detective.
    [this bit is the only one that is really giving me trouble, 由緒正しい高校二年生だ made it seem to me that having the name passed down like this was troublesome for a second year in high school. But I'm not really certain of the translation]



    Dagnit!! Strike Warriors 2, the arcade.
    [this bit is a little comment on the side of the dialogue bubble so I tried to make it short]

    Also there is a kanji than I'm having trouble looking up as it's rather indistinct.
    It's the one before でかいわりに <- this means radish sprout according to the site, so I assume it's part of some Japanese idiom, but so far I've been unable to find anything about it. <br />
    Anyway thanks for all the help, I'll probably post a bit more of Kindaichi as I'm interested to see how the case proceeds.
  • I've been playing way too much rayman origins

    ...and I'm playing way too much Ar Tonelico.

    All in all, well done this time. Mostly just a few notes on the English phrasing.

    骨は25~30歳の男性のもので 死因は頭部を強打され殴殺
    - Your translation is fine, but just in case you had troubles with the original Japanese wording, it literally says "The bones were those of a 25~30 years old male..."

    埋められ 少なくとも一年以上は経過していると見られた
    Given the state of decomposition, the body was buried at least 1 year ago.
    - the original sentence does not contain the grounds upon which the conclusion is based
    - but I guess "state of decomposition" is not very specific, so it's alright
    - another suggestion "The evidence suggests he must have been buried at least a year ago."

    To make it sound a bit more dramatic, like the Japanese sentence, how about?
    ―そして 白骨こそが
    But who could have known,
    that its discovery would trigger a blood soaked chain of events.

    俺の名前は金田の名探偵 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ由緒正しい高校二年生だ
    - The first horizontal line is the kanji for one, the second should be dash.
    - 彼(か)の名探偵 means "that famous detective", was originally a pronoun in older Japanese
    - 由緒正しい is just a common expression for a "rightful successor". He's a 高校二年生 for which the following applies:
    = 名探偵 の 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ
    = 名前は金田
    = 由緒正しい
    要するに餓鬼なんだよね 胸でかい 割りに
    I find it interesting how one grows to be able to recognize these low-res kanji just based upon how they look and feel.

    File 2 : The [Murder] Case of the Western Village
    - An entire village or just a single building?

    美雪(みゆき): もう! 朝っぱらからサボりだなんて!! 今日は許しませんからねっ!!
    - I suppose the situation makes it obvious it really is about skipping school?
    - Perhaps it's just me, but "skipping class early" sound to me like he's actually putting some effort into doing it early, how about "skipping morning classes"?

     this means radish sprout according to the site

    When you come across seemingly meaningless words like this, it's often a good guess to assume you've parsed the sentence incorrectly, and it helps to take another look at the sentence a day later with a fresh mind.
  • Ah, mune, well that makes this part make more sense now. I decided to just upload the whole page so there is more context as to what is going on in this scene.
    Also you'll note from the image that the second 一 from 金田一一 is はじめ、I'm not sure if that changes the meaning there

    俺の名前は金田一一かの名探偵 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ由緒正しい高校二年生だ
    My name is Hajime Kindachi, yes from that famous detective Kosuke Kindaichi, I suppose I was looked on as his successor though I was still in high school.
    [something like this possibly]

    そしてこいつが幼なじみの 七瀬(ななせ) 美雪(みゆき)
    And this is my childhood friend Miyuki Nanase.

    She was an honours student, and popular with the boys, but to me she was just a pain in the neck.

    要するに餓鬼なんだよね 胸でかい 割りに…
    Her chest being the only adult thing about her.


    I decided to finish up the page after learning what the kanji was. Now I wish I had the official translation around to see how they interpreted some of those little side remarks. As always thanks for the help, I started recently watching the anime so now I have a bunch of kindaichi related stuff to go through.

    Edit: I just remembered for this
    File 2 : The Case of the Western Village

    The tokyopop translation of this was The mummy's curse, I've not read far enough in the chapter yet to know what the case is about though Wikipedia states "The small hexagram-shaped village in which the classmate lives is packed with wealthy aristocrats who keep mysterious, cut-up mummies in their luxurious homes. " So maybe "Murder at the Western Estates" might be a better fit.
  • the second 一 is はじめ、I'm not sure if that changes the meaning there

    As it is only his name, it doesn't really, but there's a line break in the original there
    かの名探偵 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ由緒正しい高校二年生だ
    When you write them in one line, adding a period or comma or space would divide into two different thoughts make it a little easier to read/parse ; )
    俺の名前は金田一一。かの名探偵 金田一耕助をジッチャンにもつ由緒正しい高校二年生だ

    ...I suppose I was looked on as his successor though I was still in high school.

    I don't think there's any ...suppose...though... in the original, and isn't he proud of his heritage? Your original translation was good.
    --> My name is Hjime Kindaichi, ... student. I'm the grandson of that famous detective, Kosuke Kindaichi.
    You could add an "and" to connect the two sentences?

    The other two sentences are fine; as for 異人館村殺人事件, just read on and decide on a fitting English title - this is a good idea in general when translating a story.

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