Can you help me to correct this translation?
  • I hope someon can help me with this:


    The feeling of the work is - It's necessary such song to become one with everyone at the last of a live! The thema is the loneliness and fate in a poetic song.The image is inside/within the town in a crowd of people, to resound in one's mind this song within an explosion .
  • At the verge of death, there should be a song that can bring everybody together. I composed this song with this thought in mind. As for the lyrics, I thematized destiny and loneliness. Amidst the city, while being pushed around by a mass of people, the melody echoes through your mind like the roaring sound of an explanation -- that's the image I had in mind.

    English is not my native language either, which is why I'm usually not doing English translations that are supposed to sound good, but I hope this sounds alright.
  • Thank you so much for the help! :)

    The only thing I don't understand is this "At the verge of death" , I can't find this in the sentence... can you explain me a little more? Thanks!

  • It's what I think the author might mean by "liveのラスト". Translation involves interpretation, especially for literature and this kind of picturesque expressions.

    Of course, it's also possible he wants to refer to "the years before your death, the last section of your life when you're old."
  • liveのラストdoesn't just mean at the end of the show? live = ライブ?
  • Assuming the author knows and cares about the difference between live and life, perhaps. To me, both possibilities are equally meaningless or -ful, so I can't really guess his intention. Using random English words for no good reason is one of the reasons why some people here on this forum didn't call this kind of writing style good, and I agree.

  • No disrespect to blutorange who has done all the hard work, but it is presumably talking about the end of a live show. Also I guess "explanation" is a typo for "explosion".
  • Yes, it have to do with the end of a live show for sure, because from my context it was clear, so Richard is correct, but without context it was hard to understand what thing it was referred :) Thanks to all always !

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

In this Discussion