Can someone check my translation / help me? (English to Japanese)
  • Okay. So I'm writing a fan letter for my #1 favourite singer, maya (of LM.C) since he's turning 33 next Sunday. I've only learned a little Japanese by myself, I would need some help re-writing it (so that I won't say anything completely wrong) at the moment, the text looks like this:

    こんにちはmayaさん、とお誕生日おめでとう!

    (先ず以て、私の日本語が分かりにくいかもしれませんが許して下さい。独学で習っています。(・_・;))
    この手紙を読むかしりませんなら、mayaさんはこのほどファンレターがたくさんを受け取ってでしょうね。
    でも、もし読める、ちょうどmayaさんに感謝したい。

    LM.Cを最初にを聞いて以来、私の人生は本当に変えられてしまった。

    幸せな時はLM.Cを聞きますそれともっと幸せになったくれる。
    も悲しい時はLM.Cが励ましてくれる。

    自分で日本語を習ってみます。近日に高校を始めている、そしたら日本語の授業を受けるができる。現在は、歌詞を英語に翻訳します、私は頑張ります。(日本語をわかるは易く、でも書くは難しね。)LM.Cの歌詞は目の覚めるよう、本当に美しいよ。日本語の授業を楽しみにして、そしたら歌詞をなんなく訳すだろうか。

    mayaさんも私の一番ロールモデル、歌うことは巨大な鼓舞して。いつか楽士になりたい (たとえ永遠かかっても)LM.Cの音楽はとても力強い、手伝ってくれる。落ちこんだりしたときはLM.Cのライブを思って、微笑まずにはいられない。そんなにエナジーね!(いなくて寂しいですよ)

    ただし...ときどき、恐れを得る。
    私はただ15才。若すぎて一人で旅行できない、もう私はLM.Cのライブを再ることができますか?LM.Cは解散しますか?  歌詠に飽きたでしょうか?しかしブロッグを読んで、そんなことは起こしないよ。曲を作ることは本当に強力な!永遠に歌を作ることを希望。
    LM.Cなしでどうすればいいでしょうか? 正直しらない。

    いつかmayaさんとAijiさんに会いれたなあ、と大変お世話になりました。
    たとえ地球の裏で住んでいって、we’re all connected under the same sky, right?

    ---
    What I'm trying to say is something like this:

    Hello maya, and happy birthday!

    (First of all, I'm sorry if it may be hard to understand my japanese. I'm learning it on my own(・_・;))
    I don't know if maya will read this letter, probably there's a lot of incoming letters at this time.
    But if you do, I just wanted to thank you.

    Since I first started listening to LM.C, my life has really changed.
    When I'm happy, I listen to LM.C, and I become even happier.
    When I'm sad, LM.C strengthens me.

    I'm trying to learn Japanese by myself, though soon I'll begin high school and then I'll be able to attend to Japanese class.
    At the moment I'm doing my best translating the lyrics into english, (I guess understanding Japanese is a little easier than writing it.) LM.C's lyrics are stunning, truly beautiful, and I'm looking forward to Japanese class, so that I'll be able to understand them easier.

    I must say that you're my number one role model too, your singing is a huge inspiration.
    My goal is to someday play in a band (even if it will take forever) and LM.C's music is so powerful, it's really encouraging.
    Whenever I'm feeling down, I just think of the LM.C live and I can't help smiling. (I really miss it)

    But...sometimes I get afraid.
    I'm just 15 years old. I can't travel alone. Will I ever see LM.C live again? Will LM.C get tired of writing songs? Maybe LM.C will disband? But, when i read the blog, I realize no such thing will happen. The will of making new songs is so powerful, I wish for LM.C to keep on making songs forever.


    What I would do without LM.C? I honestly don't know.

    Someday, I want to meet you and Aiji, and thank you for everything.

    Even if I live on the other side of the planet, we’re all connected under the same sky, right?

    ---

    Okay. I know it's FULL of typos and I don't really... know any Japanese grammar. I would just be very thankful if someone that knew Japanese would skim through this and help me out. uvu

    Thanks in advance!

  • Honestly? I tried to write it for you but when I went through what you mean ... I assume that Maya is a part of LM.C, isn't she/he?

    You should take a note that you should NEVER write such letters, as Japanese people like straightforward messages and, what is the most important, the rule is that you should not send your message in Japanese as long as you are not familiar with it. If you are more familiar with English than with Japanese, choose English.

    Finally, do not write essays. Especially such naive (I don't mean to insult you!) and childish. Artists do not care that you study Japanese on your own or that you get afraid of their possible disbandment.

    Try to write something constructive, something inspiring.

    Anyway, your text is full of mistakes to the extent it should be completely rewritten.
  • I don't think a pop star is going to get really hung up on formality in a fan letter, especially from a non-native speaker. :)

    I do agree with MaestroS, though, that you might want to just send the letter in English. You have a lot of deep thoughts to express, so you might as well do it in your native language!

    If it's really, really important to you to include something in Japanese, here's a few first lines you can use if you'd like. I am not a native speaker or an expert user, but I fixed what I saw wrong in your text and I'm confident that a reader would understand the whole thing. Use at your own discretion.

    mayaさんへ

    こんにちは!お誕生日おめでとうでございます!

    私の日本語が分かりにくいなので、ファンレターを英語で書かなければなりません。

    自分で日本語を勉強していって、来年に高校に入ってから日本語の授業を受けることができますよ。

    英語にしなければならないことはすみません。(・_・;)

    Dear mayaさん,

    Hello, and Happy Birthday!

    My Japanese is hard to understand, so I must write this fan letter in English.

    I'm studying Japanese on my own, and I'll be able to take Japanese classes next year when I start high school.

    Sorry to have to do this in English. (・_・;)

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